13 Great and/or Funny Quotes

OK...these start out seriously, but they slowly spiral down into outright silliness. But enjoy!

1- America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.--Abraham Lincoln

2- Beauty in not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.--Kahlil Gibran

3- A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.--C.S. Lewis

4- The issue is clear. It is between light and darkness, and everyone must choose his side.--G.K. Chesterton

5- Spiritual joy is: The settled conviction that God sovereignly controls the events of life for the believers’ good and His glory. Spiritual joy is not an attitude dependent on chance or circumstance. It is the deep and abiding confidence that regardless of one’s circumstances in life, all is well between the believer and the Lord.--John MacArthur

6- Forgiveness is not that stripe which says, "I will forgive, but not forget." It is not to bury the hatchet with the handle sticking out of the ground, so you can grasp it the minute you want it.--D. L. Moody

7- I don't find slashing and blood flying everywhere to be scary. I just find it repulsive.--Dean Koontz

8- A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.--James H. Boren

9- "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."--Principal in "Billy Madison"

10- Prince Humperdinck: [sincerely] "Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."
Count Rugen: "Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything."--From "The Princess Bride"

11- "Over the years I got to be quite a connossieur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand... YECCHH!"--From "A Christmas Story"

12- I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!--Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

13- If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.--Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

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