"I'd Love to, but..."

OK, so sometimes we all have a little trouble saying "no." Maybe we don't have a good excuse handy. Here (tongue-in-cheek, of course) is a list of excuses to keep handy for those times when you just can't think of a good one!

I'd love to, but I'm being deported.

I'd love to, but I'm building a pig from a kit.

I'd love to, but I'm converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I'd love to, but I'm in the middle of counting the bristles on my
toothbrush.

I'd love to, but I'm having all my plants neutered.

I'd love to, but I'm observing National Apathy Week.

I'd love to, but I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.

I'd love to, but I'm sandblasting my oven.

I'd love to, but I'm seeing how long I can go without saying yes.

I'd love to, but I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

I'd love to, but I'm too old for that stuff.

I'd love to, but I'm too young for that stuff.

I'd love to, but I'm touring China with a wok band.

I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.

I'd love to, but I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.

I'd love to, but I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.

I'd love to, but I'm working on my cottage cheese sculpture.

I'd love to, but I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.

I'd love to, but it's my parakeet's bowling night.

I'd love to, but my mother would never let me hear the end of it.

I'd love to, but my subconscious says no.

I'd love to, but my uncle escaped again.

I'd love to, but none of my socks match.

I'd love to, but the last time I went, I never came back.

I'd love to, but the man on television told me to stay tuned.

I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.

--From Phil Glowatz, the UGA HumorList