Monday, July 27, 2009
Stuff I've never done, that's ALWAYS done in the movies
The summer movie season is in full swing. So Men’s Health came up with this list of things happen all the time on screen, but never in real life: “I’ve never…” (Note: my co-host Darren Marlar and I revised it a little, and even added a couple.)
• Bumped my head and gotten amnesia.
• Left the water on in the bathroom sink long enough to flood the whole house.
• Been chased through the forest, tripped, and twisted my ankle, compromising my escape, but I still say, “Don’t stop. Go on without me.”
• Been stuck in an elevator with a woman I hated, but by the time the elevator was repaired, we were passionately making out. (*revised for family friendliness :))
• Been stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman.
• Said, “Open this door or I’m breaking it down.”
• Found myself on top of a moving train.
• Picked a lock with a credit card.
• Said, “Don’t do it, man. Just give me the gun.”
• Been to a wedding where someone stood up and objected.
• Collapsed onto my car horn.
• Seen a bunch of homeless guys standing around a flaming trash can, singing doo-wop and wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.
• Dialed a “555″ phone number.
• Closed my medicine-cabinet door and seen someone in the mirror who wasn’t there 3 seconds ago.
• Ran into a church where the girl I loved was about to get married to someone else, but upon seeing me stopped the wedding and professed her love to me (and either ran out the door with me, or WE got married instead...and the former groom admitted he was in love with one of the bridesmaids.) (*added by Darren and me)
• Rushed to the airport to stop the woman I just realized I love from leaving, and as I get to the gate, I see her plane pulling away, and then feel empty because I think that my best chance at love is now gone, but, as I turn away, she’s standing there because she decided at the last minute not to get on the plane because she realized that she loves me too and was hoping I would come to the airport to get her.
Woken up in the morning, after a long night of sleeping, with a full face of make-up and breath fresh enough to kiss someone. (added by me!)
Got any to add? :)