Monday, July 27, 2009

Stuff I've never done, that's ALWAYS done in the movies

The summer movie season is in full swing. So Men’s Health came up with this list of things happen all the time on screen, but never in real life: “I’ve never…” (Note: my co-host Darren Marlar and I revised it a little, and even added a couple.)

• Bumped my head and gotten amnesia.

• Left the water on in the bathroom sink long enough to flood the whole house.

• Been chased through the forest, tripped, and twisted my ankle, compromising my escape, but I still say, “Don’t stop. Go on without me.”

• Been stuck in an elevator with a woman I hated, but by the time the elevator was repaired, we were passionately making out. (*revised for family friendliness :))

• Been stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman.

• Said, “Open this door or I’m breaking it down.”

• Found myself on top of a moving train.

• Picked a lock with a credit card.

• Said, “Don’t do it, man. Just give me the gun.”

• Been to a wedding where someone stood up and objected.

• Collapsed onto my car horn.

• Seen a bunch of homeless guys standing around a flaming trash can, singing doo-wop and wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.

• Dialed a “555″ phone number.

• Closed my medicine-cabinet door and seen someone in the mirror who wasn’t there 3 seconds ago.

• Ran into a church where the girl I loved was about to get married to someone else, but upon seeing me stopped the wedding and professed her love to me (and either ran out the door with me, or WE got married instead...and the former groom admitted he was in love with one of the bridesmaids.) (*added by Darren and me)

• Rushed to the airport to stop the woman I just realized I love from leaving, and as I get to the gate, I see her plane pulling away, and then feel empty because I think that my best chance at love is now gone, but, as I turn away, she’s standing there because she decided at the last minute not to get on the plane because she realized that she loves me too and was hoping I would come to the airport to get her.


Woken up in the morning, after a long night of sleeping, with a full face of make-up and breath fresh enough to kiss someone. (added by me!)

Got any to add? :)


Randy said...


I'm glad you didn't end up making love passionately to a "woman!" Nope, can't say that I had a "movie" moment. Now, is there any, even if they weren't mentioned, that you'd like to happen?


Kay Day said...

I have glanced out the window at night to see someone watching me. Scared me spitless. My dad is a prankster.

A Dusty Frame said...


Sherry said...

I've never heard a noise and decided to investigate myself while ominous music played in the background.

Randy said...


As I mentioned on FB, I know the gender thing would be reversed! My warped sense of humor was trying to come through. And...also as I said, I'd really like it if Kate Beckinsale would look at me and say, "You had me at hello!" Like that's gonna happen anytime soon.


Anonymous said...

hi.. just dropping by here... have a nice day!

Mama Hen said...

Hilarious! I have never thought about it before, but none of those movie things have happened to me either!

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