Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

My son Jonathan on his first birthday

Thirty-two years ago, on March 27, 1980, my firstborn child was born.

I was 23 years old, excited and scared, and there was so much I didn't know before my labor began and my husband rushed me to the hospital.

I didn't know that I was going to have a little boy.  Very few people knew the sex of their child in those days; ultrasounds weren't as common as they are now, and doctors often made mistakes when guessing the gender.

I didn't know I was going to have a C-section.  We had taken Lamaze classes and thought we would have a completely natural, non-medicated birth, because that was what was expected.  (To this day, I don't know if I could have gone through with that! I have a pathetically low pain threshold.)

I didn't realize how much a baby would change my life--how everything would now revolve around this little person, his needs and his demands, and how that would take some adjusting to and maturing on my part.

I didn't realize how much a baby would change my life--I didn't know how much joy Jonathan would bring to me and my husband.  I didn't realize how immense, how ineffable, how unconditional your love can be for this person that lived inside your body for nine months.

I didn't realize how fast those early years would go.  I'm sad because--although other people did--we didn't have a video camera to record priceless moments, only a cheap camera that failed to capture what a fun, smart, precocious, adorable and incredibly beautiful little boy we had.

I didn't realize how Jonathan would grow up so quickly into a teen-ager, then a young man.  I couldn't look into the future and see how proud he would make us with his intelligence, his love for God, his creativity ,his character, his work ethic, and later his wonderful qualities as a husband and as a father to his own sons.

I didn't know (although I prayed it would be so) that he would meet a beautiful girl and marry her--the perfect wife for him, and mother of the two little boys I love most in this world.

I didn't foresee how often Jonathan would make us smile, make us laugh, and bring us joy--not only for the few years he lived in our home, but to this day.

I didn't know he would be a person of real empathy and sensitivity. That he would be like me in many ways, loving all kinds of music and loving to read.  That he would introduce me to books, movies and TV shows that would become my favorites, like "Lost" and "Fringe."

(I admit, I could have easily guessed that he would be like his father in loving sports.  That would have to be a given in our home--my daughter does too!)

I would be lying, of course, if I said that being a mother was a path of unalloyed pleasure and happiness.  There is plenty of worry and fear along that path as well.

But if I had realized on the eve of March 27, 1980, just how much love and joy being a mother (to Jonathan, and later to Justin and Elizabeth) would bring, my heart just might have burst.

Maybe it's a good thing we can't see into the future.

Happy birthday to my wonderful firstborn son, Jonathan Douglas Swanson! I love you more than words can say!

Happy Birthday to My Wonderful Son, Justin!

Happy Birthday, Justin!

My second-born son, Justin Garrett Melvin Swanson, was born 29 years ago today.  And what a happy day that was!

Justin has asserted his unique persona from the very beginning.  First of all, his birth was a scheduled Cesarean.  And although he was breech and never turned, his birth went off without a hitch.

I will never forget right after he was pulled out of me, he started yelling and screaming louder than any of my babies had ever cried! And then someone laid him right next to my face (I was strapped down in the manner of C-sections.)  I started talking to him, and he stopped crying as soon as he heard my voice.

 (Sorry Justin, the following  paragraph might embarrass you! But it does make a point! :))

The very beginning of breastfeeding was difficult for my other two babies.  Jonathan was born by emergency C-section in 1980; I didn't even get to see or hold him till he was almost six hours old, and his interest in nursing was lackadaisical at first.  For some reason, that was true again with Elizabeth.  Not Justin.  At first attempt, he was like, "I've got this.  No problem."  And that has characterized his ability to do just about anything in his life!  

Justin has had an entrepreneurial, enterprising spirit since he was a little boy.  It started with handing out free circulars as a little job when he was just a kid...then he delivered the Rockford Register Star.  Then while in college, he had his own window-cleaning business for a while.

His sense of humor is one of the delights of my life.  I can't tell you how many times he has lightened my mood by saying just the right funny thing.  His practical, common-sense outlook on life has talked me down from many a ledge.

Not getting to always be around him and my other children makes me really sad...but every time I do see him, it's like a breeze of fresh air blowing through my life.

My constant prayer for Justin is that he will continue on the path of God's guidance and direction.  Oh, and that the Lord will bring the perfect young woman into his life--the one who will make him happy just as my daughter-in-law has for my other son.

I Love You, "Little Jus"!