It's been one year since my mother died...

On November 5, 2013, my world shattered.  My precious mother died unexpectedly.

It's hard to explain just how wonderful my mother was. I have tried, feebly and inadequately, to verbalize her specialness.

I wrote this as part of a tribute to my mom in 2003:

My mother's walk with the Lord is also something I want to emulate. She is a real prayer warrior. I have so many memories of hearing her pray, and there have been times I have literally seemed to feel her prayers for me when I've been in dangerous or difficult situations. Call me mystical, but there is just something about a mother's prayers!

My mother has endured many trials in her life, and sometimes, I admit, I've questioned why this wonderful woman should be inflicted with so many circumstances that to me seem unfair and unjustified. But these trials have not broken her. Instead, she seems to grow stronger and more lovely with time.

My mom as a little girl

A tough year

In some ways, this has been the toughest year of my life.  God has given me many blessings this year, and I've appreciated every one of them.  But navigating an ocean of grief has been a difficult and burdensome task.

It's easy to just give in to it, just wallow in grief.  My siblings and I have said that at any given time, we are two seconds away from a grief meltdown.  The tears are always right there behind our eyes.

Our mother was such a central part of our lives, and we lost her so unexpectedly.  (She died of cardiac arrest, in her sleep...yes, a wonderful way to go, and for that we're grateful.)

Celebrating our mother

So today, we've decided not to wallow in our grief.  We are going to do our best to celebrate our mom!

Yes, we're going to lay flowers at her grave.  (Ironically, I'm not as sad at her graveside as I thought I would be.  I simply can't think of her being there at all.)

But, we're also going to have lunch at one of her favorite places.  And then...and this might sound a little funny, but so be it...we're all going to buy a new top.  Because one of her favorite things to do was to buy a new top!  So we're doing it in her honor.

My mom would have HATED us to spend this day crying and moaning about her loss.  She wouldn't have allowed it!  So we're going to honor her as best we can by celebrating the happy and wonderful things about her life.

With my siblings and my mom....our last Christmas with her

Live in peace and joy in heaven, Mommy.  We'll see you soon!