|Samantha "Don't-hate-me-for-being-beautiful" Brick|
On Twitter this morning, several of the British women I follow were reacting to this article in the UK's Daily Mail by journalist Samantha Brick.
In the article, Brick recounts many incidents in which men lauded her for her beauty, while women hated her for it, tried to block her success, wouldn't let her talk to their husbands, and didn't even ask her to be a bridesmaid in their weddings--apparently because her stunning beauty would show them up.
So, yeah, I have some observations.
First off, while I think Brick is pretty, she's NOT that gorgeous. I have friends and loved ones who are much more beautiful that she, and they don't constantly get champagne sent to their table or their credit cards waved away by smitten men.
Secondly, while confidence and self-esteem are good things, Brick's article exhibits an overweening self-love that borders on real conceit.
Women who are so outwardly and verbally sure of their own beauty are, frankly, obnoxious. Feel free to have all the self-esteem you want, but please use a modicum of modesty when talking about it, Sam.
Her article raises some good points.
I DO believe we as women are hard-wired to distrust and even dislike beautiful women, often for no good reason.
It's so easy to be envious. Frankly, jealous.
I remember in college, I was intimidated by beautiful girls, and sometimes just shied away from them.
My sister was the total opposite. Some of her best friends were the most beautiful girls in that small college. She was absolutely not threatened by them, and gave them the chance to show that they were sweet, kind, talented, whatever.
She saw past their stunning-ness to the real person within.
And sometimes those gorgeous looks actually hid a very insecure, even damaged person.
I learned to follow my sister's example and not hate beautiful girls just because they were beautiful.
I have a dear friend who is, by any standards, drop-dead gorgeous.
Amazingly, she is rarely complimented by anyone. Her own mother downplays her daughter's good looks.
Sometimes when I'm looking at her and seeing just how beautiful she is, the natural inclination is to not say anything about it. After all, she looks in the mirror...she's got to know how beautiful she is, right?
Not necessarily. So I decided early on to be the one to compliment her. I'm not threatened by her beauty, because I love her and know what an amazing person she is inside.
We all need affirmation...and sometimes a lovely woman DOESN'T get it from her sister-women.
How we as women react to a woman that is prettier than us says a lot about our own character. Are we secure enough in ourselves not to be threatened or intimidated? Are we generous-spirited and kind enough to see past the outward beauty to the person inside? I hope so.
OK, so maybe you'll find out that she's a conceited and arrogant jerk. But maybe not.